I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
