Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize