I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
only you would photoshop your dick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
