my sisters under your porch take her home
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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