Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
