So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
