you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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