i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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