I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
