Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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