i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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