Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
