1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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