I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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