did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
