I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
