i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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