3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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