I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I touched a dick in church today
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
