I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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