Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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