we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
