Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
