You can't special order awesome
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
