why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
