no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Be still, my beating vagina.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
