We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
