He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
