I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize