He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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