this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
