Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
