i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
