One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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