guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
