Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize