i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
