I think my vagina is haunted
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
