My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
