I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
