how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
