so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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