You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
