A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no you cant smoke seaweed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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