I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
