Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
