if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
