yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we're making bets on your personal life
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
