Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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