i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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