well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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