I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
