dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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