thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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