so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
