you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
