Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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