you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Damn victory sex feels great
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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