i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
