have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
