how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
