He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
