When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize