I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They took my balls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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