i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he puts the penis in happiness.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
